Not a bad week considering...

So...I'm definitely doing better after my tramatic Saturday than I was in the few weeks leading up to it. The vet techs and my vet spent a lot of time with us. I got to sit there and hold Chloe for the last 45 minutes. One of the vet techs was crying just as much as Mandy and I were. The other was trying to tell us funny stories to make us laugh. When the doctor came in the thanked Mandy right away for coming to be with me, since he knew I was waiting for her to be with me for it. He thanked her again afterwards. Although it still sucks...and its very strange to be home and not have Chloe here with me....I feel better than I did the last few weeks...when I knew what was coming. I felt very guilty...which I shouldn't...because she was in a lot of pain...but still its a weird experience.

Sunday I went with Mandy, Ann and Amanda into the city for Now and Zen. Billy Idol cancelled which was a major bummer since I was most looking forward to him (even more than Maroon 5). But the other acts were good. We left about halfway through Maroon 5 so we could make it back onto Muni before the park emptied out and it would take us forever to get home. Then after we got back my dad called to check on me. I guess my brother and sister told him about Chloe. It's been about 4 months since I talked to him...not that we talk more often than that anyway. But it was nice that he called to see how I was doing. Turns out he's going to be in Las Vegas the same time that I'm there next month. Then...my best surprise of the day. Dear sweet Amanda surprised me with some beautiful flowers to help cheer me up.

Yesterday I went teambuilding with some co-workers to Napa. We had a great lunch at V. Sattui (spent some time in the reserve room with a very drunk host), a nice stop at Jarvis (the wine was much better than the last time I was there), and then finished up at Domaine Carneros. We were staying the night at the Napa River Inn (which turns out to be haunted and we did find a few folks who had some freaky experiences in our crowd). Today we had meetings in the morning and then headed home.

Now Mandy and I are just sitting here trying to get some work done so we can go out and have a little fun tonight before she flies out in the morning. And I need to do some laundry since I'm headed out of town Thursday for a week!

Sad day...

Well today's the day my dear sweet Chloe will finally get to walk without pain and only go potty outside again... I'm trying to think positively about the good I'm doing for her. I found this really great letter online that sums up why this is a good thing. I'm posting it below for anyone else who every has to face what I'm facing today.

ANNIE'S LETTER

Dear Susan,

I just want you to know how happy I am to be in doggy heaven. It is great up here! My legs work fine, and I only go to the bathroom outdoors, just like I used to, before I got real old. Also, I can hear again! The other barking dogs here are all very friendly, and once in a while I even bark back at them. It feels real good to bark again.

The views are spectacular. I can see all of Winnetka, Deephaven, Tonka Bay, Bloomington, and all points in between. I can see the work going on in our back yard... it is shaping up and will stay beautiful now. At the end of my time there, I could not see the yard or anything very clearly. My mind is inquisitive again, too. I am sticking my nose in to all the new nooks and crannies here. Exploring used to be a big part of my life. Remember me tugging you in all directions on our walks, except for the last year or so. And I like being real mobile, nimble on all four feet, again. I want to thank the whole family for taking care of me for 15 great years (well, really, 14 great years---my last year of real advanced age was not so great, for me at least).

You may think you rescued me years ago after I was abandoned, but that is not quite right. You see, I selected you guys, not the other way around, because I knew you were a great family that would take really good care of me! And did you ever take really good care of me!! Really, really good as you would say. Especially you, Susan. You were the one who usually put my food in my bowl, took care of my water, too. That is all I ever really needed. And you kept the bowls clean, because you knew that was important to me. You were my very best special friend. Thanks.

You took me to the vet for my check ups, and had me fixed when my spleen went bad on me. Remember when my ear filled up? You nursed me through that too. Even though you laughed at me, you knew how stupid I felt walking around with that lamp shade device on my head and you were able to comfort me through that difficult time. By the way, would you please throw out all the photos of me bumping into walls and chairs with that stupid thing on my head... it just is not in keeping with my lady-like personality!

The affection shown to me by Maggie and Katie was awesome. I felt like their sister, except I liked them so much I could never fight with them like some sisters do sometimes. I just tried to return their affection to thank them for cuddling with me on the floor and petting me so gently and stuff like that. I know they loved me so much, even when I got old and even though I could not show them the attention the way I did when I was younger and full of it, like I am again now.

But you, Susan, meant the most to me because you did the most for me and we spent the most time together. You really favored me with so much care and love for 15 years. I know I was helpful to you when it was just the two of us at the end of our time in Minnesota, and how glad I am for that---just to be able to repay you a little bit for all that you did for me. How many piles of my poop did you pick up? How many thousands of times did you open or close a door to let me in or out? How many bazillion hairs did you sweep up? How many hours did you spend vacuuming? Thank you so, so, so much. (Regarding the poop, I apologize for my little problem in cars---and boats---but I just got so excited that, well... you know.)

There is NO way I could possibly thank you enough for the help and joy you gave to me during our 15 years together. I was sorry I had to go when I did, but I was so old. I did not want to be boarded any more. I had zero energy for that, or any other activity either! It was definitely time. Like Uncle T. said, I was having way more bad days than good, many more bad hours than good hours. I really was not happy at the end, and now I am happy again. Remember me with a smile on your face because that is the way I remember you and Maggie and Katie and Paul. I have a big smile on my face now. My ears are sometimes floppy and sometimes (as you would always say) "precious". I get hamburgers any time I want. My head is way out the window when I go riding around with my furry pals. There are no fences or leashes here. I go for walks often. Life is great again! It really was time for me to go, and I thank you for your help in making it dignified and easy.

I love you, Susan, and Maggie and Katie and Paul, and always will.

Annie

P. S. I really liked being a girl, in a house with three other girls. It was especially fun when we ganged up on Paul. Ha!

Finally

Okay...I think maybe the zicam kicked in a bit finally...my throat doesn't hurt, my voice lost that sexy 86 year old smoker sound, and I'm down to half the amount of tissues I went through yesterday.

Must say though...don't care for the gritty zicam losenges. Not only do they feel horrible in your mouth...but I swear they make me sneeze just as bad as the nose spray. maybe worse since its prolonged by the 30 minutes it takes for the damn things to dissolve in my mouth. Think I'll stick with the nose spray from here on out...once I've finished the $13 bottle of losenges I have I mean....

Hope I'm feeling much better tomorrow as I can't cancel that meeting like I did the one I was supposed to have today!

Zicam not to the rescue...

At least not yet....

But gotta love the Nyquil....except of course when your nose starts running and wakes you up. I can't be the only one that happens to...no matter how dead asleep I am...the tiniest little nose run has me wide awake.

Gonna have to go to the store for more kleenex today....and I think I better reschedule tomorrows trip ... think I may need another day in bed....

Zicam to the rescue?

Hmm..its been a while since I've taken Zicam...I recall it worked OK...but I've always used the nose spray one before....when I was at Safeway today they had these little dissolvable tablets you could get also...and since the nose spray one always made me sneeze furiously...and therefore probably reducing the effectiveness I thought I'd try them....

However...I've had this thing that I'm not allowed to chew or swallow in my mouth for like 20 minutes and its getting gritty...and the little pieces of grit are drifting down my throat...its not a pleasant experience....hope this works well!!!! If not I also picked up a big huge thing of chicken noodle soup...that always works right??

I hate being sick!

Man...I guess I'm due...but it still sucks being sick.... I started to kinda get a stuffy nose on Friday...and now I'm all stuffed up, coughing like mad, and have a killer sore throat! And I'm all out of Zicam....but not in the mood to go to the store! I wish drug stores delivered!

Conversation with my sister

I just got off the phone with my little sister - she's three years younger than me. And we're not exactly close...in fact...we drive each other mad. And I've had very limited contact after she spent 10 days visiting me last year because it was WAY too much of her at one time.

Anyway...I was worried she was calling to bitch me out for not talking to my dad (I think he's mad at me right now - but she likes to yell at me when he's upset about something).

But turns out she was calling because the invitations to my cousins wedding in November showed up and she wanted to know if I was going to go (I'm not). But then she asked me if my dad had called me this week.....I told her I haven't talked to him in months (leads me to believe either he's not mad at me...just being normal and not talking to me)...so she tells me that my GRANDMOTHER is getting married and my dad is supposed to be calling and inviting me to that...and am I going to THAT wedding (I'm also not - 3000 miles away and thanksgiving weekend...no thank you!).

So still on the topics of weddings she says to me "I know we aren't really close...but when you get married I'm going to stand up in your wedding right? Because I know a lot of people that are excluding their siblings lately and I think that's wrong." I really didn't know what to say....I told her that honestly I'm not planning on having a big traditional wedding (true). That I want to get married on a cruise ship, with very few people there - just family and closests of friends (true). And that I didn't know if I would have anyone stand up for me (not exactly true - probably would have my friend Michelle). But I guess its good to know that she feels this way...because if I have ANYONE and don't have her that would probably cause major family issues. Of course...it means I also have to have my other little sister and my brother in the wedding too....so maybe I will not have anyone and just have "honored guests" like my friend Mandy was going to do if they got married in Hawaii (they are not anymore).

Anyway, since we were having this big long chat I figured I should tell her about putting Chloe to sleep next week since once upon a time Chloe was her dog too...she was actually really great about that too. Asked me how I was doing with it, talked about why its the right thing to do (I guess my mom's been telling her about how Chloe's been not doing great lately), and said she'd call to check on me that day to see how I'm doing.

So I guess it was good...its probably the longest conversation we've had in over a year..and there was no yelling or arguing at all! Maybe she's finally growing up a little bit! I'm planning on spending like 2.5 weeks at home over Christmas...so we'll see if I can handle that much time with her by then!

Damn Airlines!

Let me preface this by saying...that in the past 4 months...I believe I've had one flight (out of probably 30-40 flights) that has been on time.

So I was supposed to be on a 7:30pm flight home tonight. But my meeting wrapped up early - so I checked the schedule and there was a 5:30pm flight available. I had the airline switch me (and paid the fare change) and got to the airport at 4pm.....to find that my flights delayed until 7:02! So now I'm stuck in the damn airport and am only getting home 20 minutes earlier....provided it leaves at the time its currently scheduled to!

I'm SOOOOO sick of air travel!!!!!!!!

So drunk last night!

So I'm out of town at a meeting all week this week. And yesterday we finished up early and I got invited to go out with the guys golfing...I wasn't going to go...but I didn't really want to work anymore so I did.

We loaded up the golf cart with beer...and off we went...10 of us in total. Now....back in the day I knew I might need to golf with customers so I used to go with a group of girlfriends every Wednesday to play 9 holes. While I can't drive the ball too far, I usually go straight, and was really good at chipping and putting. However, in the 3.5 years I've lived on the West Coast I've been golfing exactly 3 times.....and haven't had any trips to the driving range. So...needlesss to say...I suck at golf these days. However, my scramble partner noticed that the more beer I drank...the better I got at golf.... So I drank some more. Then after I got the golf cart stuck on a concrete block...he decided no more beer (I dont know why he just didn't drive us himself???). Anyway, after golf we all went for dinner....where we probably had 5 pitchers of margarita's among the six of us....and of course I was already hammered before we even got to dinner. Then we were back to the hotel for MORE beer before bed.

So, I'm tired, hungover, and fly home tonight not to arrive in my own apartment until 11pm. Why do I do these things??

More on my wish list.....I'm dying for both these!!!!

Panera Bread and Mini Golf!

Okay..I've been waiting 3.5 years since I moved to the west coast for my FAVORITE restaurant to open....they're finally coming to in my area....drove a little out of my way today...but did get to have Panera Bread for dinner. Problem was...its only been open like 3 days and everyone who works there doesn't know how to do their job yet! It took them 20 minutes to make my latte! Oh well...I've got a dozen cinnamon crunch bagels to go in the freezer til the one opens up closer to home.

Also went mini-golfing with Amanda, Ann, and Tony. Haven't been in ages...we had a blast ... but the course was HARD. And they charge you $.25 a ball if you lose it...which of course I did....oh well. Still a good time. Now time to chill with Chloe a bit before bed. I'm attaching a picture of my pretty baby here.

Halloween Candy!

So I went to Costco today to load up on supplies for a care package I'm sending to the gulf. Then I headed over to target, because I'm told where I'm sending things the folks are also badly in need of tarps. And I also saw that target is in fall on Halloweem mode already!!!! Costumes and more importantly! Halloween candy! My favorite are the little Brachs pumpkins! Gotta get them while they're out!

Damn!

Got up at 5:30 this morning...got ready, got in the car, turned on my cell phone - to find out that my meeting that was 100 miles away at 8am had been cancelled! Too late now to go back to bed...guess I'll get some work done.....

UGH!

Man! Last night I wrote this long raving rant...and then my computer crapped out on me before I could publish....don't feel like re-writing it now...but it sucks! Time for a new computer for me...but I really don't want to spend the money right now...I mean...I already just made myself take back the Coach Scribble Tote I found on clearance at Nordstroms..and the knee high black boots I just bought on zappos. Trying to be financially responsible so I'm in better shape for moving...but its hard when you need to make major purchases!!!

Devistation of Katrina

So I just watched today's Oprah..I've been avoiding watching too much tv because all the reports are so depressing...but I always watch Oprah...I think I cried through 70% of the episode. It's obscene how poorly we've reacted to helping the victim's of Katrina....I'm ashamed of how long those poor people had to spend at the Superdome....and all the dead bodies laying about because we're unable to clear them up. And at the triage center at the airport in New Orleans - they're bringing people still alive to the morgue..because they believe they'll die anyway and its peaceful there. Unbelievable.

So much Coach...so little Time

Okay...so I'm completely and total obsessed with the Coach label. I mean...I have over 50 different handbags/shoes/scarves/accessories from Coach...I could open a store..... Just wanted to level set for you.

So coach came out with a new catalog week before last...and I'm DYING to have the Naomi Pumps....they're SOOO cute!!! But I have a really hard time paying $230 for shoes! I did pay $210 for my pamela sandles...but I've only worn them 4 times so far.... by the time I decide they probably won't be available anymore and my decision will be made for me...but man do I want them!!!!

Welcome!

So I've been fascinated by the BLOGGING phenomenon of late....spend WAY to much time reading them...thought I'd write one!!!! Hope you all enjoy it!